July 28, Edinburgh
The last week has been a trying one to me on account of the state of my health which has been very bad. . . I am fully satisfied (as indeed I was before starting) that this exile for one so feeble is unwise & unfavorable. I yielded my judgment to that of others; . . . I cried long & earnestly to God for guidance before I decided to come abroad. If ever I felt honest & willing to do as God directed, it was in this. . . . the probability is that I am never to return. If so I can only conclude it to be best for me & the world that I should die abroad. My earnest prayer should be to be willing thus to suffer & to die if it be God’s will. . . . I shall not probably see through this dispensation till I reach eternity. Why I was allowed to come abroad only to die seems now mysterious, but I doubt not in eternity the mystery will be unraveled. God grant that my dear wife may live to return & be a blessing to our beloved family. God bless her & them all now & forever!
July 29
Examined the basalt of Calton Hill & the Castle . . .